Stres – minsko polje u nama

Taj naš svakodnevni saputnik uspeva svakom da se posveti, nekom manje, nekom više, ali mu se retko ko raduje dočekujući ga raširenih ruku. Kako se suprotstaviti stresu u svetu u kojem se dojučerašnja najmodernija tehnologija već sutra prodaje kao antikvitet, gde savremena muzika emituje enormnu količinu buke, dani na poslu donose neočekivane preokrete i strah od (ne)raspoloženja nadređenih, siguran posao prelako izmiče iz ruku, a nekadašnje vrednosti, materijalne i duhovne, lebde nad našim glavama kao helijumski baloni?

Prema H. Seli (H. Selye), stres (engl. stress – napor, pritisak) je bilo koji pritisak okoline na organizam, odnosno zahtev koji sredina postavlja pred jedinku u smislu njenog prilagođavanja novonastalim uslovima. Kada kažemo da smo pod stresom, obično mislimo na njegov negativan aspekt. To je samo delimično opravdan stav jer najpoznatije stresne situacije – sukobi u porodici, sukobi na radnom mestu, gubitak voljene osobe i slično – izazivaju negativne emocije kao što su tuga, strah i bes. Ali stresne situacije su i lepi događaji poput venčanja, rođenja deteta, dobitka na lutriji... I one su jednakog intenziteta kao i one negativne, ali izazivaju drugačije, burne afektivne reakcije – euforiju, razdraganost i neobuzdanu radost.

Začin života

Ljudi različito reaguju na stres. Neki ne umeju na pravi način da se izbore s napetim stanjem organizma zbog čega, u najboljem slučaju, trpe njihovi bližnji, našavši se pred bujicom grubih reči koje su, naizgled, došle niotkuda. Međutim, to nije najgora reakcija onih koji ne umeju da savladaju bes i izbore se sa ogromnom količinom napetosti za koju je odgovoran neki događaj, osoba ili situacija. Ovi ljudi, jednostavno, nisu pronašli ventil koji bi ih doveo u stanje smirenosti. S druge strane, za neke ljude stres je „gorivo“, adrenalin koji ih pokreće na akciju čineći im život dinamičnijim. I sam Seli je rekao: „Stres je začin života. (...) Ko bi uživao u životu bez trke, bez udaraca, bez grešaka?“. Kad malo bolje o tome razmislimo, naša zaljubljivanja zaista ne bi imala smisla bez „leptirića“, iščekivanja voljene osobe i neizvesnosti o tome jesu li nam osećanja uzvraćena; nedostatak nelagode dok čekamo ishod razgovora za posao ili ocene na ispitu ukazivao bi na to da ne pridajemo važnost profesionalnoj strani našeg života; čak bi i neizbežni nestašluci naše dece bez stresa prošli potpuno nezapaženo.

Ipak, svaka jača stresna situacija, bez obzira na svoju prirodu, narušava našu psihološku i fiziološku ravnotežu izazivajući odbrambenu reakciju organizma. Negativne posledice javljaju se kada spoljašnji pritisak prevaziđe kapacitet odupiranja organizma, a dugotrajna izloženost stresu dovodi do psihosomatskih poremećaja. S druge strane, izloženost stresu može da rezultira pozitivnim ishodom po organizam tako što će ga učiniti otpornijim. U tom slučaju, organizam razvija nove mehanizme savladavanja stresa, o čemu svedoči i poznata izreka: „Što te ne ubije, to te ojača“.

Ali, vratimo se onom stresu koji nas najčešće pogađa – negativnim stresnim situacijama na poslu ili u porodici. Sve češće možemo čuti savete za izbegavanje stresa, počev od onih naivnih koji preporučuju da u kritičnom trenutku duboko udahnemo vazduh i započnemo odbrojavanje u sebi dok se ne smirimo, do onih složenijih koji savetuju opuštanje, meditaciju i osluškivanje unutrašnjih glasova i potreba. Bilo kako bilo, svi ovi saveti upućuju nas na sušinu – vraćanje sebi. Bolna je činjenica da smo se, u ovim godinama i decenijama munjevitih promena, otuđili ne samo od drugih već i od sebe samih. Svako od nas igra društveno nametnutu ulogu: žene se bore da potvrde svoju emancipaciju, muškarci se bore da održe svoj nekadašnji status, deca se bore da što pre steknu samostalnost, srljajući u nepoznato i neretko pogrešno, a niko ne obraća pažnju na potrebe i želje ljudi oko sebe. Svi su prezauzeti ispunjavanjem očekivanja okoline. Povratak sebi postao je nedostižan fenomen koji će neke nove kompanije uskoro nuditi kao uslugu u vidu simulacije i holograma, kako nam to prikazuju holivudski naučnofantastični filmovi.

Napetost pretvoriti u kreativnost

Iako smo možda prezasićeni brojnim savetima za izbegavanje stresa, oni se pojavljuju s određenim razlogom, a to nije samo puko ispunjavanje praznih redova časopisa. Neretko se zapitamo koji savet odabrati, u moru različitih koji nude ovo ili ono rešenje. Postoji pomoć u vidu raznih vrsta terapija koje problemu prilaze temeljno i postupno, korak po korak, s težištem na otkrivanju glavnog uzroka stresa i njegovog trajnog savladavanja. Ali kada je u pitanju „sitan“ svakodnevni stres i naša nemogućnost da mu pristupimo ozbiljnije, nema tu neke velike mudrosti – da bismo ga izbegli, potrebno je da pronađemo način koji najviše odgovara našem trenutnom stanju, situaciji koja je stres izazvala i mogućnostima koje su nam u tom trenutku na raspolaganju. Ako posedujemo višak negativne energije i ne umemo da kontrolišemo bes, možemo izaći napolje i prošetati nekoliko krugova po parku. Ako nam neka situacija ili osoba dodatno unose nemir, možemo da pustimo klasičnu muziku i otplovimo mislima u beskrajne zelene šume. Ako iščekujemo voljenu osobu koju nismo videli danima ili nedeljama, a trenutak susreta nikako da dođe, možemo iskoristiti napetost i nervozu na kreativan način tako što ćemo joj naslikati ili napraviti nešto što će je obradovati.

Nijednu stresnu situaciju ne treba potcenjivati. Ako već duže vreme gomilamo stres u sebi ili teško podnosimo čak i najmanji potres, ma kako izgledali bezazleno, sitni svakodnevni stresovi mogu da postanu prave male nagazne mine. Ukoliko smo na poslu bili izloženi osudama ili konfliktima, dovoljno je da nam neko od ukućana „doda poslednju kap u čašu“ i – eksplozija je neminovna. Stoga treba da proučimo sopstvene reakcije da bismo uvideli šta nas, i ljude oko nas, može privremeno spasiti od ovog praska. Tako ćemo ubrzo shvatiti da li nam je potrebno pražnjenje u vidu nekakve fizičke aktivnosti ili bilo kojeg drugog načina smirivanja, bilo da je to plivanje u mirnim vodama imaginacije – ležanje ispod palme, skijanje, vožnja gondolom kroz rajske vrtove – ili najjednostavnije odbrojavanje u sebi. Naravno, sve su ovo veoma naivni predlozi, mali trikovi koji služe samo trenutnom eliminisanju stresa, ali koji na duge staze mogu da sačuvaju naše mentalno zdravlje.

„Jedan od glavnih simptoma nadolazećeg nervnog sloma jeste naše uverenje da je posao koji radimo užasno važan.“ - Bertrand Rasel

Stress – the minefield within

This perpetual companion manages to devote time to everyone, some more, some less, but rarely is he greeted with open arms. How to stand up to stress in a world where yesterday’s most advanced technology is sold as an antique the next day, where contemporary music emits an enormous amount of noise, days at work bring unexpected turns of events and fear of discontent of our superiors, secure jobs too easily slip away, and our once material and spiritual values float above our heads like helium balloons?

According to H. Selye, stress (strain, pressure) is any kind of pressure on the human organism by the environment, or rather, the expectations the surroundings impose on the individual in terms of his adjustment to newly developed conditions. When we say we are under stress, we usually think of its negative aspect. This is only a partially justified view, as the most known stressful situations – domestic arguments, problems in the work place, the loss of a loved one, and similar – cause negative emotions such as sorrow, fear, and rage. But stressful situations can also be beautiful occasions such as weddings, the birth of a child, winning the lottery… they are of equal intensity as the negative ones, but cause different, turbulent, affective reactions – euphoria, elation and uncontrolled joy.

The spice of life

People respond differently to stress. Some are unable to properly overcome the tense state of the body, and because of this in the best case scenario, those closest bear the brunt of the torrent of abrasive words that seem to have come from nowhere. However, this is not the worst possible reaction of those unable to conquer rage and come to terms with the enormous amount of tension caused by some event, person or situation. These people simply have not found the right way to vent, which would bring them to a state of calm. On the other hand, some people use stress as “fuel”, adrenaline that stimulates them to action making their life more dynamic. Selye himself said, “Stress is the spice of life. (…) Who would enjoy life without the race, without punches, without mistakes?” When we really think about this, falling in love would truly lose all sense without the “butterflies”, the eager uncertainty of whether the person of our desires returns the sentiment; the absence of discomfort while we wait for the outcome of a job interview or exam results would demonstrate that we do not value our professional life; even the inevitable misbehaviors of our children would pass unnoticed without stress.

Still, each stressful situation, regardless of its nature, disrupts our psychological and physiological balance inducing a defensive body response. Negative consequences show up when the pressures from our environment supercede the capacity of the body to retaliate, and long-term exposure to stress can cause psychosomatic disorders. On the other hand, exposure to stress can have a positive effect on the body by making it more resilient. In this case, the body develops new mechanisms for overcoming stress, as expressed in the popular saying: “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”.

But, let us return to the type of stress that effects us the most – negative stressful situations at home or at work. More and more often we hear advice on avoiding stress, starting with the naïve ones, which recommend that in the critical moment we take a deep breath and count in our head until we calm down, to those more complicated ones, which recommend relaxation, meditation and listening to our inner voices and needs. Be that as it may, all of these suggestions direct us to the essence – the return to ourselves. The painful fact is that in these years of lightning speed changes, we have become alienated not only from others but also from ourselves. Each one of us plays a role imposed by society: women struggle to prove their emancipation, men struggle to maintain their status, children struggle to gain independence as soon as possible, rushing into the unknown often making mistakes, and no one is paying attention to the needs and desires of people around them. Everyone is too busy fulfilling the expectations of the environment. The return to oneself has become an unattainable phenomenon, which some new companies will soon offer as a service in the manner of simulation and holograms, as they show us in Hollywood science-fiction films.

Turning tension into creativity

Although we are perhaps oversaturated with plentiful advice on avoiding stress, they exist for a particular reason, and that is not just to fill empty space in magazines. We often wonder which to choose in a sea of advice offering this or that solution. Help is available in the form of various different therapies that have a thorough and gradual, step-by-step approach to the problem with the goal to reveal the source of the initial trigger and permanently eliminate it. As for “small” everyday stress and our inability to take a serious approach to it – its not really rocket science – in order to avoid it, we need to find a way that will best suit our current state, the situation that caused the stress, and our capacities available to us at the time. If we carry excess negative energy and are unable to control our anger, we can go outside and walk a few laps around the park. If a situation or person brings further unrest, we can listen to classical music and sail away in thoughts of endless green forests. If we are waiting for a loved one we haven’t seen in days or weeks, we can use that tension and anxiety creatively to paint or make something for that person.

No stressful situation should be underestimated. If we have been piling stress for some time, we will with difficulty handle even the smallest disruption. No matter how harmless they appear, small everyday stresses can turn into real land mines. If at work we have been exposed to judgment or conflict, it is enough for one of our family members to “add the last drop” and – an explosion is inevitable. Therefore we should examine our own reactions to understand what can protect us and the people around u from these outbursts. In this manner we will quickly realize whether we need venting in the form of physical activity or any other method of relaxation, whether it is swimming in the calm waters of the imagination – lying under palm trees, skiing, riding gondolas through heavenly gardens – or simply counting. Of course, these are all very naïve suggestions, little tricks that serve only to temporarily eliminate stress, but they can in the long run preserve our mental health.

“The main symptom of an impending nervous breakdown is our belief that the work we do is extremely important.” – Bertrand Rasel